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X 4.1 LETTER TO REQUEST MEDICAL RECORDS
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Date: (Date you send the request)
Hospital:
Address:
City, State and Zip:
Attention: Medical Records
I need to have ALL of my medical records forwarded to me as soon as
possible.
Please include the following: Admission and discharge, nursery, labor
and delivery room, and any other records kept by your hospital during
my stay there. What types of records do you keep, and what are they
called? Please list hem so that my physician may review this list, and
at a later date, as for more detailed information.
Name: (Your name at the time, if fake name, use it)
Born: (Your date of birth)
Date/month/year: (of your stay... if you can't remember the exact date,
just put the month and year. The more info you give them, the easier to
locate your records.)
I have included a money order in the amount of $______ to cover the
cost of copying these records.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Signature________ Dated ________
Your Name
Your Address
City, State and Zip
Your Telephone Number
*YOU WILL NEED TO HAVE THIS LETTER NOTARIZED
Also, send a money order for the cost of copying your records. Most
places usually charge ten (10) cents per page. So send $10.00, or if
you can't manage that, send $5.00. This will hopefully prevent any
hold-up of copying your records.
Also, if you have any other info that will help them in locating your
records, please include it. Under your name and date of birth, if you
have it, also include the doctor's name. Add your SS# if you think you
used it, baby's date of birth, weight, height... whatever you can!
Also... be sure to make a copy of the letter for your records, and
write the date you mailed it so you'll have it for follow-up purposes.
*********************************************
Date: (Date you send request)
Name of Agency
Address
City, State and Zip
*DAYNA’S THOUGHTS – AN ALTERNATIVE VIEW
Even in the days of digital technology, most hospitals L&D departments
still keep a written record of all births. Adoptees are listed in this
record. The clue is that the last name of the mother is coded. The
hospital I worked at used "Zymo", hence my birth mother would be listed
as Zymo, Carolyn. Many times the baby is the only one coded and the
mother's name is there along with other valuable information. This was
the case at the hospital where I was born. (they used a different code
name) If you have the date and exact time of birth finding the record
is very easy. Getting your hands on the book may be a different story.
I did it by asking a resident that was at the birth hospital to look it
up for me. Perhaps you could ask your OB/GYN (or your spouse's). Maybe
even a friendly chat with one of the OB nurses. I would suggest NOT
asking the department manager or the records department. They will say
NO. A nurse on the floor may not be too sure if it is okay or not and
she may be just a nice person. If you do ask a nurse from the
department, I would like to add that the night nurses may be more
helpful.
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X 4.2 BIRTH, MARRIAGE, AND DEATH CERTIFICATES IN ITALY
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This information has been prepared by the Office of Citizens Services
at the U.S. Embassy in Rome, Italy as an aid for those persons who are
in need of vital records from Italian authorities. Location of Records:
Under Italian law, records of birth, marriages, and deaths are
maintained by the Registrar of Vital Statistics (Ufficio della Stato
civile) in the City Office (Comune or Municipio) of the place where the
event occurred. There is no central, regional or provincial office
which keeps such records. Information Required: When applying for one
of these certificates, the applicant must supply all relevant
information. The office of the registrar cannot undertake extensive
research of its files to locate a record which is not properly
identified.
For a BIRTH CERTIFICATE (Certificato di Nascita): provide full name of
person at birth, place and date of birth, name of parents; specify that
the do***ent should include the name of parents.
For a MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE (Certificato di Matrimonio), provide full
names at birth of both parties, their birth dates, place and date of
marriage.
For a DEATH CERTIFICATE (Certificato di Morte), provide full name at
birth of deceased, date and place of birth if available, place and date
of death. Translations: It is strongly recommended that all requests
be translated into Italian.
Requests received in a language other than Italian may be subject to
extensive delays or not answered at all.
Addressing your Request:
If your request is directed to a large city, address it as follows:
Ufficio dello Stato Civile
Comune di ______
Italy
A request to a small town may simply be addressed:
Comune di ________
Provincia di________
Italy
Fees: A small fee, varying from place to place but on average not
exceeding L.5.000 (around $2.50), is charged for the issuance of each
certificate. Though it is customary for Italian city offices to waive
the small administrative fees for foreign applicants, their budget does
not allow for expenditures of funds to cover their services and postal
charges. It is recommended that international postal reply coupons
(available through most U.S. Post Offices) be included with any
request for services.
Apostille: If a do***ent is intended for use as evidence before a court
or other legal proceeding, it must be authenticated with an "apostille"
by the responsible Italian authorities in accordance with the terms of
the Hague Legalization Convention of October 5, 1961 (effective in the
United States on October 15, 1981). Please indicate in your request
whether an apostille is required. Note: Italian registrars are not
required by law to assist in genealogical research work. In most
places, records dating back as far as the mid-19th century are
available but unless complete and correct information is provided, no
search can be undertaken. If you are engaged in family tree
reconstruction and do not have the essential information bearing on
your ancestors, you may wish to retain the aid of professional
researchers. A separate list of firms or individuals specializing in
genealogical work (ancestry, coat of arms, etc) is available from the
Office of American Citizens Services . April 1998, American Citizens
Services.
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X 4.3 STATE LAWS – OPENING RECORDS
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**CONNECTICUT
Briefly, birth mothers have "reverse search" rights in CT. The right to
ask the agency which placed their child to search for the now adult
person and ask them if they are willing to release their identity to
you. The agency can charge you a fee. Some agencies are capable and
motivated, and others aren't. There are also private searchers. To my
knowledge, the changes that are expected will first be expanding
adoptees records rights - birth parent rights are down the line.
**LOUISIANA
Louisiana has a mutual consent registry operated by the Department of
Health and Human Services for adoptees (age 25 or older), birth mothers
and birth fathers if the father has legitimated or formally
acknowledged the child as provided by law or has signed a voluntary
abandonment and release for the child's adoption. One hour counselling
is required upon registration.
For registry information, contact: Louisiana Voluntary
RegistryDepartment of Health and Human Resources
P. O. Box 3318
Baton Rouge, Louisiana 70821
Telephone: (504) 504-342-9922 or 800-259-2456
La. Rev. Stat. Ann. 9:40:91
**MISSOURI
Missouri's birth and death lists can legally get a list of all
Missourians born on a particular day by sending $27.50 for the first
thousand names from the Missouri Department of Health (make check out
to Missouri Department of Health), mail to Wayne Schramm, of the Bureau
of Data Analysis, Missouri Department of Health, PO Box 570, Jefferson
City, MO 65101. Also, journalists are allowed even more leeway in
obtaining birth information legally. If you want more specifics mail me
at
mailto:l****pley@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
.
**PENNSYLVANIA
In Pennsylvania, an adult adoptee (age 18), or adoptive parents of
adoptees under 18 may petition the court for release of identifying
information concerning birth parent(s). The court must appoint either a
county agency or a private adoption agency to attempt to locate and
contact the birth parent(s). The court may deny the request to search
for the birth parent(s) if it believes that there is a substantial risk
that persons other than the birth parent(s) would learn of the
adoptee's existence and relation****p to the birth parent(s).
An adoptee or his or her adoptive parent may also make a direct request
to an adoption agency to search for the birth parent(s). Identifying
information concerning the birth parent(s) may only be released if both
birth parents consent. If only one birth parent consents to the release
of the information, only information about that birth parent may be
disclosed. Birth parents may file with the court or the Department of
Health a consent form granting permission to disclose to the adoptee
the information contained in the adoptee's original birth certificate.
Such information may not be released without such a consent and only to
an adoptee 18 years of age or older (with adoptive parent permission,
if under 18). 23 Pa. Cons. Stat. 2905.
**TEXAS, DALLAS COUNTY ONLY
If the name of the adoptive parents are known. It cost$5 to get the
file. It takes 2 weeks to get your file. Contact:
JIM HAMLIN, DISTRICT CLERK
HENRY WADE JUVENILE JUSTICE CENTER
LONE STAR DR., MAILBOX 1
The lady that now (02/00) handles opening records name is Candace. The
phone # to Judge Gaither's office is: 214-698-4903 then ask for the
records dept. and then Candace.
Contributed by L&G Funderburgh
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X 4.4 MAKING CONTACT
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When the time to make connect finally arrives, everyone is eager to
move forward. Contact should be made when you are ready. Don't let
others force or influence when you make contact! There are some basic
things to remember about reaching out to someone that doesn't know that
they have been the main focus of your life for some time. Contact may
be the most difficult part of the search process. It becomes im****tant
to determine if the letter or the phone call is going to be your mode
of contact. Many factors play in this decision. The most im****tant
thing to remember is - CONTACT IS THE FIRST IMPRESSION MADE AFTER MANY
YEARS OF SEPARATION! It is time to put your best foot forward. How to
chose between letter or phone?
Selecting the phone call or the letter depends on the information you
have been able to gain during your search. You may have a full address
and phone number. Or you may just have the address or phone number. It
is not always necessary to obtain all information, if you are certain
that the information you do have is accurate.
Many searching want to have all information about the family member
before contact. That is not necessary. Learning about your family
member can come after your contact has been made. Over investigation
may be viewed by the receiver as an invasion of privacy! Once you are
sure that you have the correct information, it is im****tant to
determine your contact method. You can be thinking about this during
the search process. This all depends on YOU! It is time to look deep
inside yourself and ask how you would like to be contacted if the shoe
was on the other foot. Ask yourself if you would like to be contacted
by a simple letter. Or would you prefer to receive a phone call. You
know if you are a letter person. You know if you are a phone person.
There is a good chance that your family member may have similar
feelings as you.
There are many different views on the phone call vs. the letter
contact. There are not any right or wrong answers to this question. As
stated above, it is im****tant for you to determine what is the best
form for you to follow.
**THE PHONE CALL
The phone call is the direct way of reaching the person and having an
instant answer to your im****tant questions. It allows you to hear the
receiver's voice. You get at true sense of how they feel about being
contacted. When making the phone call you are able to make sure you are
speaking to the right person and no one else can intercept the call.
Simple suggestions to prepare for the call:
Make your call at a reasonable time. Don't call early in the morning or
late at night. Always be aware of time zone differences. It is not
considered proper to call before 9:00 a.m. or after 9:00 p.m. It is not
the best idea to call anyone at work. It may be against company policy
to receive personal calls or it could disrupt their work day.
It is not advised to call during the dinner hour. We know that the
dinner hour is not the same in all homes. If you know there are
children within the home, it is likely that there will be dinner
preparation and family time going on anywhere between 5:00 thru 8:00
p.m.
It is not appropriate to call on a holiday. Many searching want to
attach the contact with a birthday or a holiday. This is not always
appropriate. Making the holiday an im****tant part of your contact may
set you up for hurt feelings and disappointment.
Have someone with you when you make the call. Many times the callers
have actually lost the ability to speak due to total excitement. It is
a good idea to have someone there to step in, if necessary. It is nice
to have someone with you after you get off the phone for sharing.
Record the call if you can. Many answer machines have 2-way calling
which should allow you to record the call. Have several tapes handy in
case your call is lengthy! The excitement level is so high when making
the call, many don't remember much of the call until days later.
Make sure that you have time for a lengthy call. You don't want to feel
rushed. Make sure that children are cared for in another room or away
from your home. This is not the time for that kind of interruption!
If you can use the *70 feature of blocking any incoming calls, it is
best to do that before dialing. You don't want to be interrupted by
other calls at this time. If you don't know about *70, call your local
phone company and inquire if this feature is available to you. If you
are not able to block call-waiting. DON'T ANSWER CALLS COMING IN. IF IT
IS IM****TANT THE PERSON WILL CALL BACK. This is not the time to be
interrupted by a busy phone!
Be prepared when making the phone call. Have some questions written
down ahead of time so that you will be able to gain the specific
information you seek. Write your questions on lined paper and leave
blanks for taking notes. These may be very im****tant to you at a later
time. You may wish to rehearse your call with someone, so that you know
what you will be saying in the beginning of the call.
Don't leave a contact message on an answering machine. This contact is
far to im****tant to leave on a machine! If you have tried to reach the
person several times, and there is never an answer, try calling at a
different time. They may work unusual hours. If you are calling during
a holiday or vacation time, keep in mind they may be away.
When you have reached the correct person-speak clearly and slowly, but
not unnaturally. Ask if they have time to talk privately, because you
have something you would like to discuss with them of a personal
nature. They will most likely ask who you are at this point. Give them
your name and ask that they write it down with your phone number, in
case, you get disconnected for any reason.
Then it will be time to start into why you are calling. It can be very
simple by stating the birth date involved with your search and the
location of the birth. If this doesn't get an instant response, then
you will have to mention adoption. From this point on, the conversation
will take on a life of it's own. If you become overly excited, take a
deep breath. This will calm you down and allow the receiver to respond.
Keep in mind that this is a shock to the other person, even if they are
thrilled that you have made contact. Their mind may be working a mile a
minute trying to determine how they are going to deal with this in
their life. There may be many pauses in their conversation.
You, as the caller, will have to allow them time to process and keep
the conversation going. Be prepared! If the receiver denies the
relation****p, have some prepared points of fact available in your notes
to ask them. But don't hit them with a barrage of questions. This may
frighten them and put an end to the conversation. If the receiver
becomes upset and doesn't wish to continue the call. Understand that
they may need some time to think things over. Offer to contact them at
another time. Or offer that they call you back. It is not good to push
the issue if the receiver is not able to continue with this call.
Kindness and understanding is the word of the day! Never make promises
that you cannot keep. If the receiver is upset and doesn't want you to
contact again. Don't make that promise! So many times the caller makes
promises that they know in their heart will not be kept. Just be
understanding and end the conversation.
Of course, you wish that your contact will be well received. You should
be prepared for the possibility of a negative reaction. This doesn't
mean that there will not be a relation****p. It may only mean that the
receiver needs time to share this with family or someone close to them.
You have had the time to process your feelings during the search. Plus
you have been able to understand the reason for the search and contact.
Now, you may have to give some needed time to the receiver. It is hard
to be patient, when you are so excited and are wi****ng for an immediate
and open acceptance.
Patience is the key!
In all cases, it is appropriate to follow up the phone call with a
letter and pictures. Do this very soon. If you have received a less
than positive response, sending a kind and tender letter of reassurance
with pictures may make all of the difference in the world.
**USING AN INTERMEDIARY
Many searchers and organizations encourage the use of an intermediary
person for contact. Don't feel pressured into using this form of
contact, if you are not comfortable with it. There is always the chance
that a well intended person could jeopardize your contact. You will
never know for sure if the contact goes poorly.
If you wish to use an intermediary, make sure they have experience in
making contact. They should be totally familiar with your search. And
if at all possible, you should be there when the call is made. All of
the suggestions about the phone call apply to the intermediary call.
Many states now have Intermediary Systems in place for the search and
contact. In those states, you will need to follow the rules that apply.
**THE LETTER
The letter is a very nice way of reaching out after many years of
separation. It allows the receiver to read the letter over and over. It
becomes a keepsake forever
The letter does take time for a reply. It is not as instant as the
phone call. But it may be the best way of reaching out if you are not a
phone person. It maybe the only method available if you have not been
able to obtain an accurate phone number (more and more people are
requesting non-published phone numbers, this makes the letter your only
option).
Many are concerned that the letter may fall into the wrong hands. In
most case, this doesn't happen. Make sure you address the letter
correctly. It is not advisable to send the letter by registered or
certified mail. This only brings attention to the letter and may cause
problems within the household. It seems that many times anyone can sign
for a registered letter, so there is not really a guarantee the person
it was addressed to got it!
Go greeting card shopping. There are many lovely blank cards available
that would be very appropriate for a first contact. You may even find a
card that does state your feelings exactly. Take some time and you will
find something that is right for you. If your contact is in a card, it
will probably not draw any undo attention within the household.
**WRITING THE LETTER
Even if you end up making a phone call, it is a good exercise to write
a letter to clarify your thoughts and get ready for the contact.
Writing the letter doesn't need to be an overwhelming task. The letter
should be short and simple. Always keep in mind that this is your first
contact in many years. It is not the time to express sorrows and great
needs. It is a simple contact asking for communication.
The letter doesn't need to be lengthy. It can be as short as 5
paragraphs! The following is a simple listing of the paragraphs and the
kind of information you may wish to express in your first contact.
Introduce yourself in the first paragraph. State your name and the
connection date of birth. Offer the city and state. Then state your
triad position in relation****p to them.
The second paragraph is a good place to say why you have written. Keep
this simple! It is not the time to express deep pain, hurt or
unfortunate cir***stances pertaining to your adoption experience.
Simply state that you wish to share medical and heritage information or
to gain this information.
You may wish to state that you have always wanted to learn more about
the other person.
In this paragraph you can state some data about yourself. It is not
necessary to tell your life story. That will come after you have
received a reply. You may wish to share your education, family
structure and interests.
This is the paragraph where you state what you want. You may wish to
receive a letter or phone reply. You may want to state that this letter
may be shared with the adoptive or birth families. If pictures are very
im****tant to you, state that here. You may want to ask for letters,
phone conversations or a possible meeting. Keep in mind not to ask for
too much in the beginning. Your contact may be overwhelming, be
understanding that asking too many questions may offend or confuse the
receiver. (For adoptees-this is not the place to ask who your
birthfather is!)
The closing paragraph should state how they can reach you. If a collect
call is acceptable, state that. Make sure you offer the best times to
reach you. This is very im****tant for those that have odd work hours.
Or if you are not comfortable with the phone at this time, ask that
they write you back. Always ask for a note of acknowledgment. This will
inform the receiver that you are waiting for a reply.
Selection of a closing word or phrase is difficult for many. Select a
word that you feel comfortable writing: Always, Fondly, Love,
Sincerely, Yours, etc. You will need to find the word that fits you
best. You may wish to include a picture or two in your letter. A
picture is worth a thousand words. Of course, only send pictures that
are flattering! It is not possible to sit down once and write the
perfect letter.
Plan on writing several drafts before formulating your final letter.
Take out some lined paper (lines help keep your thoughts in order.)
Write a letter. Then put it away. Then, write another letter. Write as
many as you need. Then take out all of your letters and mark the parts
you like the best.
With those marked ****tions, write a new letter. This way you will be
able to express yourself well. Once you have come up with the letter
you feel shares your feelings and wishes, have someone else read your
letter-a friend, spouse, your searcher or group leader. Accept their
remarks and suggestions on if you agree with them. If you are not a
great speller or your grammar is not the best, make sure you have
someone review your letter for spelling and grammar. You would hate to
find that the person you are writing to is a English teacher!
Then make a final draft of your letter. Reread your letter and decide
it if expresses your feelings and needs for this first contact. Write
you letter in the card you have purchased or write it on separate paper
to be inserted in the card. If your handwriting is not readable, it is
appropriate to type your letter. But state this is why it is typed.
Otherwise, always hand write your letter. It is more personal. Address
the envelope and get it ready to mail.
If you are not ready to send the letter, put it out where you can see
it daily. Ask yourself when you see it, if this is the day to mail it?
You will know in your heart the right day! Most like to take the letter
to the post office and drop it into the slot to guarantee that it is
mailed.
Now, you will have to wait for the letter to be delivered and processed
by the receiver. This does take time. You may become concerned that you
didn't hear back the day the letter should have been received. Don't
let this get you down. Remember how long it took you to write the
letter. It may take the receiver that much and more time to process
and reply. Or they may just pick up the phone.
Waiting for a Reply-What to do if you have not heard back in a couple
weeks? Wait at least two more weeks! The letter is a slower way of
receiving a response. But it does offer the receiver time to process
and reply. The receiver is not aware that you are sitting on the edge
of your seat and that you have developed a close relation****p with your
postal carrier as you wait at the mailbox daily! All they know is that
they need to reply, but the sense of urgency may not be there.
If you have not received a reply in 4-6 weeks, you may wish to place a
phone call. Or simply write a new note stating that their reply is of
great im****tance to you. You should not have to totally rewrite the
letter.
**OTHER SUGGESTIONS
Knocking on the door is NOT acceptable. It has been done with great
success, but by confronting someone without warning may start the
reunion off on the wrong footing. This action may take years to
recapture.
Many times a drive-by may be possible. If you are able to do this-don't
stop and stare. Don't bring attention to yourself. That last thing you
want is to have a neighbor calling the police because they have an
active Neighborhood Watch program in effect!
Always keep in mind that you are looking into the lives of others that
are not aware of your search. Be respectful on all accounts. It will
pay off.
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