Lizajane wrote:
> Gabriel Day Evans was born to us on May 16th. He is wonderful - of
> course I think he is the most beautiful child ever born. I can tell he
> will have a sweet disposition, he smiles to himself all the time and
> though I know they are not "social smiles" I think it means something.
> The only problem is he WILL NOT sleep by himself, even if we are in
> the room. We have two bassinets, one for our bedroom and one for the
> den. Even if he is sound asleep, if I try to put him into one of his
> beds, he almost immediately wakes up and wails until someone comes to
> get him. This is after he has been fed, changed, burped, etc. I don't
> feel right just letting him cry, but I tried to yesterday and he went
> on for 5 minutes. I don't believe in "crying it out," and even if I
> did, his crying for a long period of time causes a physical response
> in my body that is uncomfortable! He sleeps well in a "family bed"
> situation, which suits me fine, but my husband is afraid that one of
> us will smother him, or that we will never be able to make the
> transition in to his crib in his own room. Also, we just need some
> time to cuddle and kiss and generally be together and it's hard to do
> if a baby is crying! I expected some of this, and don't expect to have
> much uninterupted sleep, but jeez, 15 minutes would be nice. What does
> everyone else do?
It is waaaaaaaaaayyyy too early to worry about crying it
out (even proponents don't recommend it for newborns!) or about
whether he'll transition easily to a bed someday. You've got
*at least* four months, and probably six months, before you need
to worry about having formed sleeping habits that will stick around.
Newborns have huge adjustments to make. There's no need to force
sleeping alone right this minute just to make sure you're not
forced unwilling into a long-term family bed situation.
If your husband is worried about safety, look up the
guidelines for co-sleeping safely and make sure your bed is
safe. If he's still worried about rollovers, get one of those
little thingies you can put in the bed that surrounds the
baby on three sides so the baby can't go anywhere and you'd
surely notice if you rolled over on the baby (not that that's
particularly likely anyway).
We had a cradle by our bed, but the baby not infrequently
ended up in bed with us after some feeding where I was too tired
to put him back. It wasn't until 4-6 months before we moved
the kids to a crib, and the transition went just fine--no fuss
at all. By then, they actually slept better without *our* noises
waking *them* up. Also, it's not at all uncommon for newborns
to do poorly in a crib just because there's too much open space
and they like feeling more confined. You might try swaddling
and see if that helps. Babies are also comforted by your
smell. You might try a blanket that you've kept by your
body a few days so that it smells like you.
Good luck,
Ericka
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