Honoring Thy Fathers
<http://online.wsj.com/article/SB121331741679270239.html>
By W. BRADFORD WILCOX
June 13, 2008; Page W11
For millions of children across the U.S., this Sunday will not be a
cause for celebration. Because of dramatic increases in divorce and
nonmarital childbearing, about 28% of our nation's children -- more
than 20 million kids -- now live in a household without their father,
up from 10 million kids (14%) in 1970, according to a recent Census
Bureau re****t. Moreover, because most of these boys and girls see
their dads infrequently (once a month or less), Father's Day will
offer cold comfort to many of these children.
Our nation's epidemic of fatherlessness is just the most salient
indicator of what University of Chicago theologian Don Browning has
called the "male problematic" -- the tendency of men to live apart
from their children and to invest less emotionally and practically in
their families than women do.
This situation has not gone unnoticed in America's houses of wor****p.
Religious leaders, particularly evangelical Protestant ones, have
expressed their alarm. "As I review the latest research on family
disintegration, I am repeatedly confronted with the same disturbing
issue," recently wrote Dr. James Dobson, chairman of Focus on the
Family. "Boys are in trouble today primarily because their parents,
and especially their dads, are distracted, overworked, harassed,
exhausted, disinterested, chemically dependent, divorced, unable to
cope or simply not there."
But how successful have churches and synagogues been in getting the
men in their congregations to put family first? Mr. Browning argues
that, historically, one of the signal achievements of Christianity and
Judaism is that they underlined the sacred character of the marriage
vow -- thereby encouraging men to be good husbands and fathers.
Religion continues to have a significant influence, even in today's
culture, as I explain in a re****t on faith, fatherhood and marriage
published by the Institute for American Values earlier this week.
Religious faith is linked to happier marriages, fewer divorces and
births outside of marriage, and a more involved style of fatherhood.
Take marital happiness. About 65% of married Americans who attend
church regularly are "very happy" in their marriages, compared with
58% of married Americans who rarely or never attend. Note that the
marital happiness premium is larger for couples who attend church
together. Indeed, wives get a boost in marital happiness from
attendance only when they wor****p with their husbands.
Religious Americans are also less likely to divorce. Specifically,
Americans who attend religious services regularly are about 35% less
likely to divorce than are their married peers who rarely or never
attend services. Once again, couples who attend together are
especially unlikely to split.
Religion is also linked to lower rates of nonmarital childbearing.
Only 25% of mothers who attended church weekly had a child outside of
wedlock, compared with 34% of mothers who attended monthly or less.
Moreover, unmarried couples who attend religious services together are
significantly less likely to have a child outside of marriage than are
couples who don't attend together or don't attend at all.
The re****t also reveals that religious fathers are more likely to
devote time, attention and affection to their children than their
secular peers. For example, compared with dads who indicate no
religious affiliation, fathers who attend religious services regularly
devote at least two more hours per week to youth-related activities,
such as coaching soccer or leading a Boy Scout troop. Churchgoing
fathers are also significantly more likely to keep tabs on their
children, monitoring their activities and friends. Finally, religious
fathers are about 65% more likely than unaffiliated fathers to re****t
praising and hugging their school-age children "very often."
There are at least three reasons why churchgoing typically connects
men to families. First, the rituals and preaching that men encounter
in America's houses of wor****p endow their family responsibilities
with sacred power. Second, religious faith seems to help men weather
the stresses of work and family life -- from unemployment to the death
of a parent -- better than their secular peers; this is im****tant
because stress often turns men into distant or ill-tempered fathers
and husbands. Third, the social networks that men encounter in
religious institutions tend to keep them on a family-centered path.
For instance, religious men are less likely to commit adultery than
their secular peers, in part because their religious friends are more
likely to stigmatize questionable behavior.
To be sure, religion is by no means a silver bullet when it comes to
addressing the modern male problematic. Divorce, domestic violence and
desertion can still be found in virtually every American congregation.
Nevertheless, studies suggest that fathers who celebrate this Father's
Day in church are more likely than their secular peers to stick
around, and to have children and wives who are happy to have them
around.
--
Mr. Wilcox is an assistant professor of sociology at the University of
Virginia.
|
