I am having such a hard time with my 3rd son. I start the day
off with high hopes and lots of energy, and I respond to his
negativity with a good attitude, but dammit - he just wears me down so
badly. When my husband has the day off, he helps, but he winds up as
frustrated as me after a while. It's ridiculous..... our son ends up
sitting at the kitchen table and the best we can come up with,
finally, is just "Don't talk!"
Reasoning is useless, punishments seem unhelpful, trying to
find him 'something else' to do is so short-lived....... we are so
exhausted . He drives his brothers insane, he drives US insane, he is
unhappy......... dealing with this sucks the happiness out of us, too.
Complaining, arguing, niggling, sighing, bothering, ....always
FUSSING... I know this boy is good and that he deserves love and
deserves to have someone on his side. Dammit... I TRY. But he just
kills it after a while. I'm not an endless source of goodwill.
I lost it today. I smacked him really hard... even though I
knew it was wrong and just an anger-vent.
His 3 brothers are sick of him. I'M sick of him. Yet, I am
the mom and I know I am his only hope. I am so ashamed that I lost it
today. Ashamed, guilty, frustrated and out of answers. I'll wake up
tomorrow and try again. TRY, I say. But it isn't 'trying' at this
point, anymore. It's just spending. I will spend all of my patience
and effort again tomorrow..... he will use me up again.
I see this child, I see his good points. But he is so
difficult.
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