In article <ceCdne1iVZJApx3VnZ2dnUVZ_uednZ2d@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>, Irrational
Number
says...
>
>My next-door neighbor railed into me this
>morning. My 5-year-old Pillbug is autistic
>and screeches a lot. I honestly had no idea
>it was this bad, though - I've learned to
>block out the sounds of his tantrums... So,
>that's my fault.
>
>Anyway, apparently, neighbor's wife is now
>getting migraines, which she had not gotten
>in decades. Pillbug's noises wake up the
>neighbors across the street, including their
>baby, something about Pillbug setting off the
>baby monitor. Across the street, they sleep
>with the windows open because they have no AC
>and the bedrooms face the street, which is the
>same for us. It's been nice at night, so we
>sleep with our windows open, too. Pillbug's
>screeches wake up their four kids.
>
>One time, Pillbug crossed the street on his
>own. DH was there and scared to death, but
>that was the only time in Pillbug's 5 years
>on this planet.
>
>My neighbor wants us to keep the windows closed
>and try to keep the kids out of the front yard.
>He is threatening to go to CPS - he has a friend
>at CPS who told him calling was the right thing
>to do.
>
>Neighbor also hates our choice of Chinese
>nannies. He has a child psychologist friend
>who thinks I'm insane for trying to maintain a
>bilingual environment when my autistic child cannot
>even speak.
>
So totally not his business and so totally wrong.
>So, now I have to find the other neighbors, make
>nice, hope we can come to a reasonable accommodation
>(I most certainly will not keep my kids indoors
>24 hours a day!), and hope no one calls CPS...
No you don't.
You have a problem that you do need to address, BUT you don't have to
address it
the way that neighbor would have it, and you certainly have the latitude
that
anyone with kids (or anyone, for that matter) to have noises emanate from
your
family to some degree so that you can live your lives.
So, I'd be thinking of things like, maybe having Pillbug towards the back
of
your house in the morning (switch bedrooms?), and having Pillbug play in
the
backyard until a later hour of the morning (seems so unreasonable to have
your
own front yard off limits to your own kids), or stuff like that which is
within
your control but doesn't trash your family life and doesn't leave you
stifled
within your own home at night. See if you can think of, say, three steps
along
that line that you can do that, if approached again by neighbor, you can
state,
then tell them that's really as far as you can go without merely ****fting
the
burden on a different set of neighbors or making your own family life
impossible. If they continue to object, call their bluff on the CPS
thing. You
can do***ent the autism. Migranes? - maybe they haven't. Good grief
every
neighborhood hassle I've heard of someone claims they have some friend at
some
agency that can trash the other neighbor and it's hardly ever the case.
And keep a diary of all.
And, I suppose, not having experience with autism, you've taken whatever
steps
you can concerning these behaviors as far as they can be helped?
Banty
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